My Adult Autism Diagnosis Journey

What Masking Looks Like for Adults with Autism

Part of the reason I started Autistix Lab is because, if I’m being honest, there are so many moments where I just want to yell, “Hey! I’m struggling here and doing the best I can!”

On the outside, I know things might look “fine.” I smile, I communicate, I manage the day-to-day. But what most people don’t see is the internal chaos—the overstimulation from lights, sounds, or just too much happening at once. The constant mental calculations of how to act, when to speak, what expression to wear. The effort it takes to navigate social cues that feel like a foreign language.

Why I Sought an Adult Autism Diagnosis

For a long time, I didn’t have the words to describe what I was experiencing. I just knew I felt different. The need to stim, to decompress, to retreat after what others might consider a simple interaction—these things were labeled “quirky” or “awkward.” But for me, they were survival tools.

Stimming, for me, has always been a way to regulate. Whether it’s fidgeting, pacing, or picking at the skin on my face, these behaviors help me manage internal tension and anxiety—especially when I’m overstimulated.

Eventually, I sought an adult autism diagnosis because I needed answers. I needed validation. And what I found was a powerful sense of clarity—not just about myself, but about how many of us are out here, masking and pushing through without acknowledgment or understanding.

That’s what Autistix Lab is about.

How Autistix Lab Was Born
It’s not just a store; it’s a reflection of the journey. It’s my way of finding humor in my tendencies, offering support to myself and others, and reminding our community that we are not alone. When I design, I think about the moments that are hard, but also the moments that make me proud to be exactly who I am.

Because if I don’t find the humor and connection in this experience, it’s all too easy to fall into depression. The world isn’t always built for us, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take up space in it—boldly, creatively, unapologetically.

A Message to the Neurodivergent Community

The designs you see by Autistix Lab on Autism Merch highlight both the humor and the hard parts of autism. They are love letters to everyone who’s ever felt unseen, misunderstood, or overwhelmed. My hope is that, through this platform, we can build a space filled with joy, pride, and radical acceptance—where being neurodivergent is celebrated, not hidden.

Thanks for being here. Thanks for seeing me.
And if you’re on a similar path—know that I see you too.

— Founder, Autistix Lab
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